My wife likes cats. No, that is not the right wording at all. My wife LOVES cats. I, on the other hand, just think cats are ok. This brings on a philosophical difference in our lives that I thought would be fun to share.
Donna: Thinks all cats are beautiful.
Kevin: Thinks only the really fluffy one’s are pretty.
Donna: Thinks that little kittens are the best thing EVER.
Kevin: Sees kittens as future trouble makers.
Donna: Thinks that all neighborhood cats belong to her.
Kevin: Wonders why all these cats keep showing up at our back door.
Donna: Thinks that any cat that shows up is starving, so she feeds them.
Kevin: Thinks that these cats can just fend for themselves, since they keep depositing dead animals at our door.
Donna: Thinks that feral cats are a myth, and seeks to prove this by domesticating them with great success.
Kevin: Thinks his wife is Doctor Doolittle in disguise, which is actually rather disturbing.
Donna: Thinks all the cats in the neighborhood have the right to just come right on in.
Kevin: Thinks of ways to get rid of cats on a daily basis.
Donna: Thinks that cats that don’t belong to us deserve to sleep their 90% of the day away in the comfort of our house.
Kevin: Thinks that my wife identifies with the cat naps because she is a narcoleptic.
Donna: Thinks that any cat who wants should be able to jump on our bed and sleep with us.
Kevin: Thinks the cats should find somewhere else to sleep because his big fat butt hangs off the bed at night.
Donna: Thinks it’s sweet when these cats lick her, even on the face in the middle of the night.
Kevin: Thinks that anything that licks it’s own butt better not lay a tongue on him.
Donna: Thinks cats crawling all over you in the middle of the night, meowing to wake you up for attention is fun.
Kevin: Thinks that the cats are lucky they don’t get flying lessons from him.
Donna: Hears the sound of cats mating outside and squees with glee.
Kevin: Hears nothing but utter horror.
Donna: Thinks that the cats attitude of being arrogant, sneaky, standoffish and needy is just right.
Kevin: Thinks his wife identifies a little to well with cats.
Donna: Thinks that when a cat wakes her up in the middle of the night for loving is enjoyable.
Kevin: Thinks that his wife doesn’t think the same when he wakes her up in the middle of the night for loving.
Donna: Thinks going to extremes to entertain a gaggle of cats is lots of fun.
Kevin: Thinks that there might be other things that might be more fun.
Donna: Thinks that the Egyptians worshiping cats is right on target.
Kevin: Thinks that cats are soulless and products of the devil.
Donna: Thinks that the more cats the merrier.
Kevin: Thinks that he should get a dog. A big, cat hating dog.
Donna: Thinks all cats should be neutered and spayed and if she had the money would pay for it.
Kevin: Thinks she thinks HE should be neutered. With scissors or a dull knife.
Donna: Thinks that cats staring at you is cute and are obviously interested in what you are doing.
Kevin: Thinks cats stare at you because they are plotting your death, so they can eat you.
So, if you ever wanted a cat, just let me know. We have more than a few and what my wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
Honey? If you’re reading this, don’t worry, I’m only joking about giving your cats away. Or am I?
