Mental Illness in Droves – How Crazy Awkward

So I think I spoke out of turn the other day. Yeah, I’m admitting to maybe, just maybe, making a mistake.

Make sure you write this down in your calendar yo.

It all started with one of those conversations with a family member. One who I often accuse of making bald statements with no facts. Like, teenagers don’t get their nose pierced. Or the one about how very few teenagers dress “emo”, which seemed to be the fad a couple of years ago.

If you are like me, you are now having a reaction similar to the one I had when those statements were made……. HUH?

Anyway, I was told something along the lines of I heard in the news that one in five Americans had a mental illness. I pshawed. I shook my head. I denounced this news report strenuously. Why? Well it’s sorta like that Cialis commercial. You know, the one where a couple who are about or close to middle-age are working in the yard and suddenly turn to each other, the woman touching the man’s face, a magical tent pops up in the yard, and it’s made obvious they are about to get it on.

We all know nothing like that is real. After all, any woman worth her salt that can get her man to do yard work is NOT going to stop to have a little “play time”. No, with her honey do list steadily getting longer, she is gonna crack that whip and make sure her man gets his chores done. That is all about marketing pills to the masses and making men think that hey, if you take this daily pill, you get to have lots of sex!

Anyways, I digress.

I later read the article that explained this wild statement about one in five Americans having a mental illness (read it here: Crazy Is As Crazy Does ) and well….. maybe I understand a little better why they say that.

Basically, if you are lazy and don’t want to read the article, the mental illness they are mostly referring to is depression. Why? Due to the economy, lack of jobs, and people losing their houses left and right. For the most part.

They just may have a point.

But you know me, I’m an equal opportunity blame layer so they way I see it, it just doesn’t stop there. Oh no, there is plenty of reasons for people to be depressed now days. I mean, have you bothered to open your eyes and look around? Or, like me, do you prefer to keep your eyes closed like you’re about to mistakenly see your fat uncle Bert moon you? Can’t say I blame you there. Who wants to see that?

No, there is plenty to be depressed about. So, being the swavy computer user I am, I trolled the interwebs for proof. Yeah I know, I’m good that way and don’t you forget it.

I will pause now so you can bow to my awesomeness.

Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

How can you not be depressed when you learn things like the people who work for our Government make more money in one year than what I will make in five? Of course, they need to make that much, because they work for….. the Government. After all, it takes a lot of work to be a Government thief, like how our Congress workers are legally allowed to do the wholly illegal thing called insider trading. You know what that is right? It’s when you find out a stock you own is about to tank, because the company accidently created Zombie Cows and are secretly slipping in Zombie Cow meat with Regular Cow Meat, so you sell your stock so you don’t lose your milk. Or how about the fact that in 2005, about 7,200 Government workers made over $ 150,000 and five years later (yes, as in this year), this number has increased to over 82,000 Government workers. Rich Government People


How can you not be depressed when honest, hard working superheroes get arrested… just because? I mean how sad is that? How could you arrest Spiderman? Or my wife’s favorite (but only when it’s Hugh Jackman because apparently, she thinks he is hot hot HOT) Wolverine? Well, it was happening in Hollywood. Just not the actors. No, the people who were dressing up for tips, because hey, they can’t get a Government job and need to make money somehow. Superheroes To The Rescue I guess it’s a good thing that a Judge decided dressing up as a superhero is covered by the 1st Amendment.


How can you not be depressed when you learn that one in four believe marriage is becoming obsolete? What happened to the sanctity of marriage? Oh, that’s right, Social Networking sites came along and allow people to hook up with old flames, destroying their marriage. This one requires some more thought though. Why would so many thing this? Is it because we, as men, can’t put the toilet seat down? Or is because wives don’t know how to cook anymore? Or is it because men just wanna have fun, like blondes, and decided to peruse that dream? Or maybe it’s because women got tired of us men farting in the bed and covering up their wives heads with the covers. Of course, it could be that women got tired of us men ogling supermodels, who are so skinny they look like boys, and no real woman could complete with looking like a skinny boy. Who knows where the truth is? Goodbye Marriage

Maybe it all boils down to the realization that we, as adults, have lost our minds along with our jobs and our houses. Like the woman who lets her 14 year old dress up as like a hooker, get numerous body piercings and tattoos and lets her feely have her boyfriends stay over so she can have sex. How slutty, I mean crazy is that? Crazy 14 Year Old

Regardless of the reasons, I think maybe there are a large number of people with a mental illness walking around. So, I must apologize to my family member, as much as it pains me. In retrospect, I think we have all gone a bit off the rocker.

With all this stuff going on around us, like a flock of mad birds, we are now surrounded with crazy people who suffer from mental illness and should be medicted heavily.

I think life just got a bit more awkward.