The Journey Starts Here

Welcome to my odd sense of humor. Not always for the faint of heart.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

How to tell a loved one they are crazy – too crazy – about cats


I know I have blogged about cats a lot.  I can’t seem to help it, because not only are they funny but my wife collects them like a nerd collects Pokemon cards.  And belly button lint.  Despite the fact, here is yet another post that is going to feature….. (wait for it)…. Cats.  And my wife.

I’ve already explained in previous posts how my wife seems to have an unusual ability to attract cats from all over the place.  She says it’s just from the neighborhood, but I swear I saw one of those feline beasties with a Passport stamp from Kazakhstan.

The trouble with this, as you might well imagine, is that wild cats do one thing.  No, make that two.  They eat you out of house and home, and they will somehow all be female so that our irresponsible neighbors who won’t neuter their male cats can get them all pregnant.  I’ve tried to find Kitty Contraceptives, but alas, no joy.  Kittens are cute and all, but the rascals grow up and eat.  A lot.  Not to mention most of them seem to be female, thus multiplying the problem.

Needless to say, I have dreams of being eaten by a swarm of hungry felines and trust me, it’s a lot of food for them and a slow death for me.

I’ve attempted to explain to my wife that our house is quickly becoming over run, becoming to small, that we can’t keep feeding all these cats but I don’t think she is listening to me.  When I go on and on about it, she will attempt to justify her actions with these timeless classics.

It’s to cold for them outside
But they are hungry.
They are so cute.
I don’t want them to die.

But tonight, she was on the phone with someone local who arranges to have strays spayed and neutered, making me THINK she is trying to get a handle on the sudden feline population explosion going on at our address, and when she got off the phone she had a new justification.

She explained to me that this woman moved out of her condo and rented to some young girls.  She too had a cat population issue and despite not being able to really afford to feed all the cats, she still takes cat food to the girls once a week to feed the cats.  She then said, “see, I’m not crazy after all”.

This is when you have to bear down, be a man, and tell it like it is.  Sometimes you just have to tell the person you love that they are crazy.  So how do you do it?  You might try doing it like I did, with kindness, consideration and compassion.  I told her: “No, it just means you aren’t alone.”

Once she finished laughing, she picked up a butcher knife and gave me the death glare.  Being a man, I made a stand, from across the room and with furniture between us.

Seriously though, please spay and neuter your pets.  I wouldn’t have this problem if my neighbors took care of this themselves.  I would love to pay to have all these cats spayed or neutered, but I’m rather poor.  But still, we are trying to be responsible and have it taken care of.  If you have pets and can’t afford to have it done, there are organizations in your area that will do it for free.  Contact them please.  No pet deserves to be homeless and hungry.


  1. Awww, thank you baby! You DO care about the babies!!!!!!

  2. A vicious and heinous lie!!! LOL

  3. Lol - Cats? I'm your new follower from the blog hop - Thirsty Thursday. Do please pop along and see me at and stay a while. There is music, poetry, articles, short stories - and always a warm welcome. ;) X

  4. Yes, cats :( Lots and lots of cats. Thanks, and I will stop by!